Tak Sihat ada makna tu

Today i feel so down, with running nose, Ella's husky voice, burning face and cold, i feel like collapsing on the floor n doze off...Thoughts go round and round, thinking what are the things that i haven't completed before children start new year in school.
Akak is returning to UITM this Friday, Bob on Monday, Eman back to SMKAK this Friday, Atih registers tomorrow at SMKBBD, Alin continues in Standard 2 and the most worrying of all, my cheeky Ayish will leave my apron's string and start kindergarten.

These are some excuses he gave for not wanting to go to kindergarten;

1. Ayish tak tau nak buat homework ( fobia tengok Alin agaknya)
2. nanti kawan2 suka sangat kat Ayish. ( perasan)
3. Sapa nak teman ayish pergi tandas. ( kat rumah tak dak teman pun)
4. Ayish tak tau nak belajar macamana.
5. Ayish tak dak kasut, baju sekolah ( memang la. baju kena beli pas masuk sekolah)

Imagine, things that are peanuts for us can be a nightmare to children..so much so that they would think of the unthinkable....


At the same time, umi is seriously thinking about tok..now it's left to umi who will accompany her every night coz she simply refuses to allow Pan to do that...for whatever reason, she just don't want.
Now, it's ummi's sole responsibilty...cannot ask Atih coz she is taking her driving license.

Umi knows sooner or later, that will be my task when nobody can do that...i just hope Allah will make it easy for me...what more with school starts next week, we are going to be busy. if umi comes home at 6am, what can i do for breakfast n lunch?
meaning everyone has to settle for Gardenia. Lunch would be Atih's speciality.

All in all, thinking about what to be done early next year is just scary and tiring. well, cannot complain as Allah has given me a good life.....

Anak Dulu dan Sekarang

Umi anak bongsu sure orang kata manje giler...betui manja tahap bangsawan tapi tetap kena masuk dapur..umur 12 tahun dah leh masak kari..bukan kari moden cik oi...ni giling lagi guna batu, pijar tangan pedih, terus seluk tin beras bagi sejuk.

Sebab tok n wan kena pi bendang sampai petang, umi dok rumah, masak apa patut, kesian satgi depa balik dah letih...so umi redah aje buat sambal tumis, letak petai belalang ( oi budak la mana kenai)...sedap menjilat jari....

Then, tengah main rounders( baseball kampung le) ataupun tuju kasut, tok pangge balik, buat apa tau....tonyoh periuk belanga yg hitam sebab masak guna dapur kayu...umi bangga leh buat tu sebab umi leh test kebersihan periuk yg akan bersilar merelit bila dicuci...mana ada Axion atau Sunlight....sabun cap kapak aje....campur sekam padi...

masa sekolah menengah, weekend aje kena basuh baju pak ndak ..bayangkan baju kerja dia selama seminggu...tonyoh baju n seluar dgn tangan....apa? guna washing machine...tak pernah dengar pun...takkan umi nak suruh tok basuh lak....pak ndak lak akan beli la majalah Gila-Gila, Actual(SPM) untuk dibaca. itu saja penglipur lara umi.

Pernah sekali tu, kepala umi kena ketuk ngan belakang pisau sebab umi salah pesiang ikan...ikan darat...puyu, haruan, sepat...\cuma keli aje umi x berani...tok memang garang...umi nangis saja...binjul bebrapa hari.

Anak-anak sekarang mana pernah sentuh semua tu....jaga pagi, terus tekan enset, check mesej dulu...pas solat lum tentu nak celik betui2..tugas depa cuma cuci baju( guna mesin), sidai, kutip n lipat....peluh pun tak dan meleleh....

kecik2 dah ada Facebook, dok online cari kawan, so mana ada masa nak keluar tengok sampah, cuci longkang jauh sekali...kalau depa buat sure umi pengsan 30 kali....dulu umi ada cleaner selama 8 tahun so depa dok goyang kaki...salah umi kot...bagi depa manja sangat.

baru la depa mula belajar masak....kemas rumah dll...ala yg simple dimple aje...tu pun kkdang dah berkira kalah cikgu maths....payah2 biar umi buat.....
rasanya tak pernah lagi depa kena pukui..yg ada cuma mulut umi yg meletup bila dah tak larat....

sesekali umi terfikir, mungkin anak2 sekarang tak pernah kenal erti susah so payah nak sedar bahawa setiap orang ada tanggungjawab. kalau umi dulu, kena keja kuat sebab nak senang, tak mau tok n wan susah lagi...

umi masih ingat dulu, kalau tok tidur sebab letih kerja di bendang, umi akan pegang tangan tok senyap2...belek tangan tok yg kasar dan kerepot...dan umi berdoa agar umi jadi pandai, kerja baik supaya tok n wan dapat rasa hidup senang. rumah kayu umi akan brtukar jadi rumah batu....malam lak umi akan urut wan ( pijak kaki lagi) sebab tok wan sakit seluruh badan kerja di bendang...sambe tu umi dok hafal ayat Kursi yg ditempal di dinding rumah..tugas ini umi lakukan selama wan sakit 21 hari sehingga dia meninggal.umi ingat lagi kata2 terakhir dia: Uh hang urut pun tak jadi apa dah...pak dah nak pi....aduh....umi nangis ......

Kalaulah anak2 kita sekarang hidup di zaman kita dulu...mau depa pengsan.....

Cetusan Harapan Seorang Ummi

Berikan sepenuh KASIH SAYANG dan CINTAMU kepada IBU BAPA kerana mereka adalah pemegang tali penghubung nyawa ketika kamu meningkat dewasa. Kasih mereka terhadapmu adalah KASIH DARI TITISAN AIR MATA dan TITIK PELUH yang tidak mungkin terbalas.




( ADAPTED FROM 2011 DIARY OWNED BY USTAZAH NASHITAH)

Panggilan Tasik

Kegumbiraan eman n umi semasa makan malam..agenda relax kami tentunya di Pendang. mancing kawan-kawan.



Juara memancing kali ini jatuh kepada atih yg menaikkan 10 ekor ikan kelah, belida dan lampam. mujur ada pekerja yg sanggup ambik untuk dijadikan lauk.kalau wak balik....alamat dok busuk aje.



umipun dok temenung aje...last last dapat gak 2 lampan. itupun puas dok tabur roti bagi dia mai....zaman kegemilangan umi telah makin pupus. ikanpun pandai pilih yg muda no.




Dua-dua pemuda ini, Bob( yg baru sampai at 5am, terus abah amik wak mai) dan Eman hanya mampu merenung masa depan yg agak suram di tasik ini....sekor pun tak dapat.
malang nasib kali ini...ikan yg ada jantan2 agaknya so tak mau kat depa dua ni.

Rentetan Kehidupan

23 Dec 2010.
the nite before, the whole family had a very nerve-wrecking time, anticipating Eman's PMR results. Umi was so tired, trying to finish reading the novel borrowed from shitah, but had to surrender to my tired eyes...woke up at 1am, having a dream that abah whispered to me that Eman's result was very bad.....could it be true..continued sleeping and in my dream, other people managed to get many big fish ( mancing pun masuk dlm mimpi)but umi did not get any....

At work, about 10.30 am, eman called saying he got 8A and 1B....syukur. to me an 8 is as good as a 9....my dream was not true....even though he missed one A, the whole family was still elated...frankly, umi did not give anymore high hope after experiencing many unexpected results in other children....

That night, we went out, celebrating and our favourite foodcourt was Tesco....makanan kat situ sedap2....we all just makan2 n came home....a long day was well rewarded.

Umi and abah always pray that all our children will succeed, not only academically but also in other aspects...scoring in exam actually did not promise a perfect life, but how one does with one life that matters the most...perangai kena elok, tau.

Umi would also like to take this opportunity to congratulate Cacti5000 and Zuraida for their daughters' excellent results.....ibu2 yg baik akan dianugrahkan anak2 yg baik juga.....Tahniah Emanku.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATIH

Today is atih's 17th birthday, a middle child who used to be very naughty,crying all the time, now has grown up to be one responsible, helpful young girl.( yg len jangan mare..hari ini hari atih)....
Atih, when young, was very small, ( bahu baju selalu jatuh), so umi did not have to buy that many clothes for her coz she could still wear the old one.....One thing that we remember most about her is, when abah had to drive home from kuala Nerang to Jitra ( 1995) holding her on his lap, at nite, her crying on top of her lung, coz umi left her for a course in Melaka. Then when we took them to a playground at DaRULAMAN STADIUM, abah had to chase her around the garden when she ran and cried ( turn crazy actually) coz abah refused to buy her some sweets.....we all sure remember this...and when abah put her in the car, she kicked and kicked all of us, regardless her small size, kami semua sakit kena tendang....apa atih oi.

her tantrums and kepelikkan was so noticeable that umi decided to choose her as umi's masters subject...umi wanted to study what made her like that....surprisingly, her attitude changed for the better...so umi pun malas nak study dah...terus dropped the course....

Now, she is my backbone, always accompanying umi to tok's house ...senang sebab atih volunteer beli itu ini and the duit baki will be hers. she likes to keep the syilling that she finds in the house...kaya la dia.

Now atih is waiting for her SPM results....the whole family wishes her Happy Birthday, may Allah give u the best .........

English Language Camp

One whole Friday was spent at KMK coz we organized the camp which was officiated by the Director. Umi's group, Romantically Adventurous managed to secure the second place for the best cheers and station activities...we were so happy. Congratulations.we had great fun participating in this camp. umi n cik ta were the faci for Word Building.
All in all, it was a success even though we could not hold it outside the college, true comradeship formed and tighten our ever close bond among ENGLISH UNIT lecturers. Kudos to the ever accomodating Head of Unit, Mr Ashri,and the patient committee members for their hard work and dedication.....hope to join another marvelous time next year.

Cerita Mak Nenek

He he sometimes when umi is driving alone from work, umi will start reminiscing my old time in Kelantan ( 1989 - 1994)...that time we had 4 children: Along, Akak, Bob n Atih...all were still small and active. so our life was devoted to raising them.
For meals, umi would prepare their porridge and abah would feed them, making sure they did not mess the place..so all nganga mulut tunggu abah suap. believe me, abah was very good at this.

Then, bathing time, umi would get ready with all their clothes, laid on the floor..all 4 suits and abah would be in the bathroom making sure they got proper bath....then, umi would dress them up.

Weekend was our outing day, Pantai Cahaya Bulan, Pantai Irama, Bachok, Pantai Sabak were our favourite getaway....then ,we would stop by at MakCik Nah's house in Pulau Gajah(never found one though)...makcik Ros's house in sabak,and enjoyed her keropok, sometimes, we went to Pakcik Lah's house in Padang Tembak( never got shot, though)and a few other interesting places....we would return late at maghrib time and at night, sometimes, there would be nightmares...and of course got reprimanded by my colonel neighbour's wife for taking young children late until nite...we buat selumber aje.

These are some of the nostalgic moments in Kelantan. More to come......

2 x 5

Alin; Umi , malam ni alin nak makan fish and sheep.( fish n chips)
Ayish: ish alin ni, sheep tu kambing biri-biri la...takkan nak makan ikan dgn kambing lak.

Ha padan kau alin, sapa suruh silap pronounce the word....

Alin: Ok ayish nak makan apa lak?
Ayish: Hmmm ayish rasa nak makan chicken shop la............ha tu dia.
Alin: ha ha ha.....ayish nak makan kedai ayam.....larat ke nak telan ayish?

Ha amik kau ayish, sapa suruh tunjuk pandai...

Umi: Dah, tak payah argue....jum pi makan free....abah bayar......

Pictures tell all

Our trip to CH was a memorable one. imagine the journey from Kelantan through Gua Musang started at 10.30am n reached CH at 4pm but moved at a snail pace for 3 hours from Kuala Terla to Brincang, a mere 18km but the traffic was unbelievable. so many people were there n we only managed to get a small attic room for rm250. it was after 10th attempt....ha ha ha padan muka but we all relax aje.

As always nite market there was so lively...sejuk giler so we were hungry like crazy...the next day, we visited rose garden..ish kalaulah umi leh minta genie transfer the whole garden to Jitra.....

we left CH at noon and syukur arrived at 6.30pm...umi drove tau from Sg Perak to Jitra.all the glitches only made us closer...pokai but hepi.......jgn mare Along n Bob.....esok teruskan tugas menjaga tok.....ai dgr kata abah nak pi Medan pulak Januari ni.....siap cari duit umi kalau nak ikut....

Family Trip Dec 2010

On thursday, 9th, atih completed her SPM exam at 4.30pm..syukur her much nerve=wrecking era was over...at 6pm we were already on the road...first time we started traveling to the Eastcoast late...imagine from Baling, Keroh to Gerik, abah had to drive along hilly and sharp corners at nite....memang menggerunkan...jumpa kereta lain sekali sekala....umi prayed very hard, trying not to think what would happen if......alhamdulillah we arrived in Gerik at 8.30pm...kira record la tu kan.




He he...a simple yet memorable birthday celebration for eman...at about 10pm, we had did ...remember...this cake was bought at 1pm from Fairy Cakehouse in Changlun and umi took it along until we arrived in Gerik, Perak.....



At 10.30 am, we left Gerik n hit the East West highway.Nature call stopped us at Titiwangsa Range...nice n cool view from the mountain peak. see ayish pun teruja.



These two memang suka posing gitu...apa ingat depa gewe ke....never mind give them the chance...



Finally, at 2.30 we arrived at Ombak Inn, wakaf che yeh....umi looked beat coz i was the one who drove from Jeli to here...an improvement tau...dulu takut.shopping punya pasal, i became so excited and brave to sail through the day



This photo taken after coming back from Pengkalan Chepa, visiting the children's babysitter, mak Jah. as always we like to give her a pleasant surprise....siap bawa ikan talang masin, charkuih and samosa. The heavy rain did not dampen our spirit.the rainbow depicts our happy mood...

Wakaf Che Yan..Mari mari

Salam perniagaan dari umi.

he he umi baru balik dari melabur duit kat wakaf che yeh...now mek ros dah tukarkan nama ke wakaf che yan...hope tak kena saman la mek ros oi. rambang mata macam nak beli semua tapi macam shitah kata kena tobat la sikit....kena mau ingat. esok nak p cameron highland lak takkan nak jeling-jeling malu kat stoberi tu....sayur2an yg gemuk gedempol lagi segar kena beli juga. pokok ros kena angkut gak satu dua....kat situ mana leh kredit card...

malam ni tak leh tidur la dok fikir untung rugi. nak juai mahai kot tak laku, nak bagi murah kot tak balik modai, nanti bos bising lak. apapun kalau frens happy, umipun happy la.

so kawan2 yg ada di KMK, sila lihat tudung yg i post ni. hari isnin ni pakat2 mai kat cubic i.....jgn habar pengarah tau, nanti kena saman tak cukup duit nak bayar ansuran Myvi lak. gaji dg48 pun tak berapa cukup ni.

Ok la, umi dah nak tidur. esok jauh lagi nak merantau ni....doakan kami selamat ye

Emanku sayang

Today, 9th Dec is my third son's 15th birthday. Mohd Fadhli Aiman, born after subuh at Jitra Hospital, weighed 3.5kg...delivered after umi had a crave of A & W rootbeer at 11pm, the nite before the birth.

He had a row of babysitters: aruah adik Zah, kak Noriah and Tok Jat because when he was delivered, umi moved into our present house from Kuala Nerang...he was quite a bundle, chubby, quiet yet could throw tantrums if the toys he wanted were not bought. siap teriak depan kedai lagi.

The only one umi called Yang...sayang sangat la...now stop calling him that, takut dia malu lak. but the affection is forever there.

When eman followed his 2 brothers to SM Agama Kedah, the bond was slightly loose, him trying to adapt his life in hostel, me trying to handle the others at home.

Sometimes, umi look at him and thought, my, my son has grown up into a young man, how much i have missed observing how he grows up, how much i have forgotten to ask him about his wellbeing, merely looking at him as one of my children. if i could turn back the time, i would surely grab that, but it is impossible.

What i have now is the present, which i vow i must value more with him.quite difficult as i am always busy, but can be done. i am sure this goes with other children as well and i really really hope they will understand......

To my dear Eman, Happy Birthday...forgive me for not being there for you most of the time...i will learn to understand you more, believe in you and protect you with all my heart.

Hijrah...always

people talk about hijrah, a change from the present to future, promise to be good and all. I beg to differ, though coz i believe each day presents all the changes in whatever we do, each hour, every minute promises all the differences in our life.
An immediate example. i just came back from Jitra tabung haji, n the business understood la. while waiting for my turn, i strike a conversation with a lady in black, who turned out to be a teacher from SMJ, my alma mater....i did not recognize her but our talk lingered around children n haji n stuff...
from our short chat, i learned two things:
1. she said it is a blessing having many children,when u are old, children will take turn visiting u n u will never feel lonely. how much i want to see that to happen to our family.
2. she also reminded me to really focus n start saving about rm800 per month if i want to go to Mekah, which made me clinch, thinking how to save that much. but the thought is there......insyaallah.

so ladies n gents, every day is a hijrah day.......

Weekend Treat

Kelmarin bosan kena pi keja hari Jumaat. elok balik aje, terus kami berangkat ke Penang. At 8.00 dah sampai sana....tu la keja kami, bila kata nak pi saja, terus campak2 baju dlm beg dan berangkat.



Ni umi posing kat dalam Kompleks Bukit Jambul. semalam dah p main bowling. bbdak ni kalau mai sini mesti pi main. umi dah give up..bosan sebab score dok gitu juga. baik umi pi jamu mata tengok apa-apa yang patut.



he he apa ni? ish termelawat kedai emas Wah Chan di Kompleks Bukit Jambul tu...apa lagi keluarla segala manik koran yg dok tersimpan..n tukar for this ala ketupat bangle.akak n adikpun dpt gak cincin sebentuk......dah puas hati umi.



Ni la gamabr B-Suite, hotel tetap dan berpencen setiap kali kami ke penang. satu malam family room RM175. sebab cuti sekolah naik harga sikit. selalu rm145 gitu aje. bilik dia besar. alin n ayish nak main badmintonpun boleh. tapi tak dak carpet. lantai parkay aje.....jadilah.



Singgah kat Carefour, konon nak sambar pokok bunga ros tapi semua dah layu.selalu banyak tapi kali ni umi tak ada rezeki..beli kain sekolah adik aje.maklum orang nak naik form 1.



Ha amik kau, ABC dari kedai makan nasi kandar Hussin kat Carefour...puas hati abah dok layan. umipun tumpang sekaki....anak2 tengok aje. depa dah kenyang makan nasi.
Kami samapi rumah at about 6.30 pm. umi terus pi tengok tok. tak boleh kalau tak jenguk dia...rasa guilty semacam aje...syukur angin tok dah ok.

Kena Lagi

last nite abah took us for dinner..then went to see tok...adui she was angry as i went quite late. i already told her that i would be late. Pan was there to help her. to make matter worse, we forgot to buy the clock battery she requested a few days ago.
she was seething with anger n i of course, being tired, and suffering from headache, tried to explain to her, but none was accepted.
akak, atih and adik wanted to accompany her but she asked all to go home, leaving her alone. they stayed even though they had to bare listening to her incessant complains...
sometimes, i feel like running away from all of these, isolating myself in my own quiet world, not having to bear the grunge of my mom, coz no matter what i try to do to make her comfortable always ends up in argument.
it is easy for those who do not experience this to say...never mind, be patient, try your best, never give up and whatnot...but to actually face this is sometimes, unbearable to any sane mind. you just want to crumpled up n let it be. however, i just cannot as i will always think of her...like what liza said...chuyan nak lari mana pun, selagi ada tok ah, tak akan boleh.........betui2...jauh tapi rindu, marah tapi sayang, geram tapi tetap nak pi tengok.....thats mother and daughter's bond.....

Try Test Tengok

Dua tiga hari ni tak dan nak update blog. tentu suma perasan kan umi tak berblog. maklum sibuk dok try test Myvi baru...orang kedah kata ciwi...bukan apa kalau tak test takut pulak nak bawa ke tempat kerja.
satu office dah tau..tadi pun KJ dah tanya bila nak amik sticker kereta...adui malu. satu kolej dah tau lak....macamla orng lain tak dak kereta baru...
umi memang style gitu...suka share yg best best, baik baik ngan kkwan, yg tak best untuk yg tertentu saja tau....biar jadi secret recipe.
hari ini first time bawa kereta sorang diri...lenguh tangan sebab concentrate sangat. satu lagi kereta ni tak dak tempat sandar tangan macam Kembara...so kena dok keras semacam saja. kalau kembara relax sikit. apapun umi suka kedua-duanya, tapi buat masa ni biarlah abah pulak mengembara. umi dah puas 7 tahun. kasi can umi pakai yg baru lak..
apapun doakan agar semua perjalanan hidup umi sekeluarga selamat dunia dan akhirat.walaupun banyak dugaan, cobaan, masalah, musibah yang menimpa, umi akan tetap maintain, sebab umi sedar kita semua hidup dalam ilmu Allah. kita diduga agar belajar mengenal diri, sedar bahawa kita adalah baharu, tidak kekal dan sempurna seperti Maha Pencipta. Syukur alhamdulillah.