ntah apa -apa

Ntah apa- apa fikiran umi sekarang...asyik sibuk memanjang tapi tak tau buat apa...rutin yg sama setiap hari membuatkan umi bosan, boring dan bo la yan....
umi sebenarnya dah janji kat diri sendiri dan dah bagitau kat adik yg umi akan help dia prepare utk exam upsr dia...so makna kata setiap malam dia kena datang mengadap sembah umi..menuntut ilmu....he setakat BM n BI tu kacang aje...tapi kalau Maths n Science mau perah otak kanan dan kiri gak ni....

apapun umi akan tunaikan janji umi....malam ni maybe lewat sikit la sebab petang ni kena p tengok tok dulu...rasa guilty sangat sebab semalam tak jenguk dia...p beli baju KRS kat adik...n beli buku cerita kat umi di Popular...hari ni umi mesti p tengok tok....kesian......

Redha

This present life has taught me a lot about accepting the challenge in life..all in the name of growing up into a complete Muslim...every single thing that is encountered actually teaches me to be a better person, someone who must accept whatever being given, take it as a lesson, endure it as Allah wants to test me, believing that Allah will not give anything without any solid reason.

i strongly believe that Allah wants to see whether i am capable of handling this life as the life in the hereafter is the result of the present life. Therefore i must never resent any kind of difficulties by whining, grumbling and sighing. The test must be faced and passed so that i will understand the true meaning of life.

Therefore, whatever shortcomings that i have, must be perceived as a lesson that is actually very important in moulding me into a true Muslimah.

i could be a bit philosophical but this is what i am thinking right now....and i realized this last nite after i finished berleter to all my children n my hubby. after i stopped, i came to a very sad conclusion that i am not a good mother..i grumble a lot, when actually i must accept the hardship that i face...if i do things in a more sincere way, i will see the hikmat behind it but most of the time, i am blinded by my bad thoughts...well maybe tiredness leads to this but... i must thank Allah for all the good things that i have, close my eyes to all the bad and surely, i will see things in a different perspective....well, we are all human, bound to make mistake, right?

Akak's Registration

Yesterday 27th June, akak registered for her Geomatic course at UITM, Shah Alam..kolej Anggerik..situated by hillside....it was a quick smooth-sailing registration...wish KMK could do the same...we left her at about 10 am...headed towards Sg Buloh to pick our stuff and sent Bob back to UIA...at about 2pm we were already on the highway.
it rained heavilly so the journey was very slow....at 9 we reached eman's school and by 10 we were home.

so quiet, so serene except the shouts from ayish n alin....God, our house is soooooooooooooooo empty.

jamu makan

Umi arrived at Sg Buloh on Friday 25th..fetched Bob at UIA and the 2 days saw umi n abah took children for family treat....satey samuri at R & R Elmina, tomyam and ikan 3 rasa at a restaurant in Ijuk, KFC at Sg Buloh jejantas, and of course mak teh also prepared her forever mouth-watering delicacies.....kesian lak tengok depa sebab pas ni makan masing-masing aje...nak wat camna....that's life, children.

Akak akan pergi

In 2 days time, we will send akak to UITM Shah Alam, the place where she is going to reside for the next 31/2 years. umi has a mixed feeling, happy that she gets the course that she wants and sad because she is leaving us for good..meaning after this, our relationship will be somehow different, the distance will make her become totally independent. we can only pray for her success n good life from afar...she is turning into an adult.
when along and bob left us, umi was not this worried, knowing boys can easily take care of themselves.even though deep inside, i've always known that she is capable of being independent, i just cannot keep this feeling away...maybe this is just mother's forever make it a big thing problem.
however, i just want to confess that i really owe her alot for helping me with the household chores..after this i have to target atih n adik lak......she has proven herself to be trustworthy and responsible...i guess she is trying to show good example to her other siblings and she succeeds....at least to umi n abah.
i pray for her success, good health, and good life ....i am gonna miss her A LOT...TAKE A GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF, DEAR.

letih weh

Kelmarin balik, hujan rintik2...umi tunggu abah balik kerja..then terus p pasar malam ngan atih n ayish...abah tertidur...kesian lak nak ganggu dia.....kat pasar malam hospital jitra tu kami beli ikan tenggiri, rambutan n keropok aje...payah bawak budak kecik tu...nasib dia cuma nak sumi tak nak mainan....sayang ayish.....

sampai rumah tok terus masak kat dia....hujan lagi lebat. selepas maghrib baru kami balik..tok merungut dia penat sebab dia cuba jalan ke luar bilik..ntah2 dia dah sampai ke dapur sebab dia dah bagi arahan kat umi suruh tutup itu ini....umi susah hati betul takut tok sakit lagi ...so umi nasihat tok jgn jalan banyak2 sangat sorang diri lak tu...nanti apa2 jadi umi tak banyak cuti dah...cuma tinggal 3 hari..dah 1 hari ahad ni nak amik antar akak ke shah alam.....nanti along balik lagi..emergency time umi tak leh cuti lak...

balik rumah terus panaskan masak lemak rebung yg umi dh masak pagi tadi..goreng ayam n ikan bilis ...lauk dinner dah sedap pulak...kesian adik tak leh makan so umi goreng bihun pulak...sambe tu siapkan tepung untuk buat cucur cempedak pagi ni....aduh letih ni tapi anak2 punya pasai tak apa..........then iron baju...mujur baju alin abah dah tolong basuh...akak p ngan kkwan beli barang2 nak ke uitm nanti.

at 11pm baru umi leh rest...tu pun dok scan bilik tidur...camna nak arrange katil ni bagi selesa sikit...dek kerana letih umi lupakan dulu...cuma sempat cuci bilik air...hai rasanya bila akak tak dak nanti umi kena pangge mak chik yah mai tolong lak la.......bayar pun bayarla...lagipun dia dah kerja ngan umi kat2 6 tahun...selalunya dia yg dok mop lantai n cuci2 ni.......

konon nak bacalah buku cerita Night Whisper tulisan Judith Mcnaught tu...dan tengok 2 3 muka terus padam........at 5 terjaga ayish nak susu....mata lip pot2 tak leh tidur dah...malasnya nak bangun sahur seperti yg di plan.....last2 at 5.45 sebaik azan umi bangun n buat cucur cempedak.................hai hai hai........dah gitu rutin umi sekarang........

weekend spree

This weekend, umi n family spent the 2 day break going to places....thursday evening already saw us at Pendang Lake Resort...since we only got there at 6, the fishing time was very short n umi got 1 fish.. that nite we went for dinner ...after subuh umi n abah were already by the lake...that's our exercise.....all in all we got 10 fish which umi gave to friend, yanti....alin herself got 2....more junior fisherlady coming.....

On Saturday, we went to visit mak ngah in Yan, but she was not in..attending a kenduri...so off we went to Pantai Murni for lunch but the food was not ready so we decided to go to Tanjung Dawai...so many people there, buying dried stuff for ramadhan i guess...umi pun tak terkecuali...ikan talang masin n bilis n macam2 lagi.....

then we sent eman back to school...maghrib time umi n atih was at pasar malam...then to tok's house....prepared her food n told her that today, Sunday umi tak p tengok dia dah since we are celebrating Father's day....wanna give abah a treat at bowling arena....same case like Mother's day......

takziah

yesterday, at 3 we were shocked to receive the news that our good friend, Pn Zuraida's husband passed away..he had been suffering from a fever for about 1 month...the news came as a surprise as we did not know about this...she kept it a secret....
so off we went to Sultanah Bahiyah Hospital to pay our last respect there...

it was a sad moments looking how Zu had to manage everything as her husband was an only child and she also does not have many siblings...she took it all on her own...accompanied by her 3 young girls.....imagine, matters that should be handled by men was put on her shoulders...she was strong, had to be strong as if she crumpled...don't know what would happen.

i could not sleep last nite, thinking of her future, unplanned life....but i strongly believe that she can handle it...for her own good and most importantly for her girls...tabahlah Zu....kami sentiasa mendoakan segala kebaikan untukmu....Amin

Kereta tanpa driver

Waktu balik dari kerja, umi selalu well....berkhayal temgok orng lain bawa kereta...ada yg laju ada yg slow..ada yg bagi umi telan asap dan macam-macam lagi.best gak observe Malaysian drivers ni...kebanyakkannya adalah pemandu ala grand prix.....

tapi yg menarik perhatian umi ialah kerapkali umi ikut kereta yang sekali tengok dari belakang macam tak ada driver....cheeeee....kereta berjalan sendiri.....kalau malam tentu seram sejuk juga....

tapi apa yg umi boleh rumuskan ialah kebanyakkan pemandu kereta di sini adalah pendek-pendek belaka....sebab tu tak nampak kepala bila depa memandu...betul tak kata umi.

tapi apa yang membuatkan umi berhenti memberi komen ini ialah apabila umi tengok sendiri..........alamak....kepala umi pun tak nampak gak....bawah lagi dari headrest...........ha ha ha............akupun semacam gak.

so umi terus tak beri tumpuan kepada pemandu tetapi kepada jalan yang umi guna hari-hari.....sedar diri.....

My Green Fingers

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He he he....the above images are the prove of my green finger passion...the longbeans ( tengah dok bebunga)which i planted under the broken tuition table, ladyfingers, pegaga n kangkung which decorate the broken wheelbarrow, and the array of flowers of different species that adorn my flower bed.....

i never miss even a day to enjoy the slow yet steady growth of the plants....i wish i have more time but for now, looking at the plants is enough.....i feel i have accomplished something...even at a small scale...i am happy

Weekend Treat

last Thursday, umi n family decided to go to Taiping. We left at about 5.40 pm and arrived at Legend Inn at about 10 pm...it was the third time we stayed at that hotel.at 10 am, we were already in front of the Zoo, the children jokingly announced that they wanted to visit their relatives...banyak cantik...we took the train eventhough umi thought we should walk as the weather was nice...but then sat gi ayish buat sakit kaki sure umi gak kena dukung....so the train was our choice...ayish n alin were the loudest, calling the many animals we saw along the ride....wonder who actually watched who...as those on the train were more excited than the monkeys....

By 12.30 we were beat...lapar lak n mengantuk....the plan to go to C. highlands terbatal...so we took the highway again....stopped at Gunung Semanggol..umi just makan the leftover roti canai...yg len minum aje....we arrived in Sungai petani at about 3 and checked into Northen Lodge....buat lawak...orang Kedah balik dok hotel kat kedah...apapun the main intention was to go to The Store and BOWLED......he he he...now abah dah addicted so kami leh main la....3 games...umi cuma won the last....ayish ni asyik tak bagi umi main.....

the next day, we went home...ingat nak stop kat pendang but too tired...ada kenduri lak kat belakang rumah......

that's all about our weekend trip...cannot go far...itupun tok dah nak marah n kecik hati sebab umi tak p makan kenduri tok su.....ala orang dah plan awai lagi.

itulah umi....dua-dua belah pihak kena jaga......hati umi ni sapa tau.....

Berleter

Umi berleter lagi semalam...apa tidak nya...balik kerja umi dah terus buat nasi goreng, cokodok n then terus ke rumah tok...masak gitu gini....at 8 balik stop beli nasi kat depa lak...takut anak2 lapar....
elok sampai..tengok pokok bunga kering aje ...sure tak kena air....tanya eman dia kata umi tak suruh pun.....amboi anak2 sekarang kena minta sembah dulu baru nak buat...silap nanti kena isi borang lak....
umi pun apa lagi...mulala bersyarah panjang....sedih tengok anak2 tak amik kisah langsung hal rumah.....suma kena habar...tak ada volunteer buat......
umi ingat masa umi kecik dulu...darjah 6 dah tau masak sikit2...petang sedang best main aci ligan, mak panggil basuh pinggan mangkuk.....gosok periuk yg hitam melegam lagi sebab mak guna dapur tanah.
bila masuk menengah...dah cuba buat gulai...giling rempah, sambal suma volunteer nak masak walaupun tak sedap sebab umi kesian mak pak sibuk di bendang....tu tak termasuk berus lantai lagi...dulu rumah atas papan...bawah simen....suma umi buat...walaupun umi anak bungsu, umi buat sebab abang2 mana nak buat kerja gitu....

sekarang...zaman dah berubah...semua ada peralatan moden..tak yah keluar peluh tapi...................mungkin umi kena tunggu depa besar lagi kot baru sedar nak buat secara sukarela...masa tu umi dah tua kerepot...dah tak kisah lagi tentang semua ini....masa tu dah terlambat anak-anak oi................

mata

Tok is getting better, she can slowly walk even with difficulty...but her eyesight is getting worse...ummi remembers how she sacrified many nites when umi was young,weaving mengkuang mat to be sold....she was very hardworking earning extra income beside helping tok wan in the paddy fields...imagine her burning the midnite oil, making the mats...each would measure about 8" x 12"...it was not an easy task coz she was very particular about the exact size, the fine weave and the perfect product of the mat.

ummi would accompany her at nite, sleeping beside her and reading storybooks...sometimes, when the electric was off, she would use the kerosene lamp to brighten the nite ...she must complete her work no matter what because the next day, she would have to attend to the paddy fields.

ummi thinks that is one of the reasons why she has a poor eyesight....glacoma and cataract took the better of her eyes...she underwent an operation about 9 years ago and the doctor advised her to have her left eye operated as well but she refused...scared that she might not be able to see at all.

now, she is surrounded by children n grandchildren but she vaguely sees them...however, her spirit is still high...even though she has to grope for things around her, she still does not rely on others...she even cuts her own fingernails which i find amazing....only sometimes, she asks me to help her.

tok may lost her eyesight but her inner sight is still clear....her ears are also clear....dont try to say things ...she will hear it loud n clear...God is The Greatest.....

spice of life

Umi feels so :

1. confused; wanna accept Dr fauziah's offer or not to do masters...she has the grant n topic.

2. sad: cannot spend more time with children this holiday.

3. disappointed: nobody wants to spend these 2 weeks to take care of tok.pak lang wants to tap rubber lak.

4. helpless: rumah tak terurus.pokok2 tak terjaga.

5. tired: go here and there on weekdays n weekends.

what to do eh....hati tak tenteram aje sekarang.....

spice of life

Umi feels so :

1. confused; wanna accept Dr fauziah's offer or not to do masters...she has the grant n topic.

2. sad: cannot spend more time with children this holiday.

3. disappointed: nobody wants to spend these 2 weeks to take care of tok.pak lang wants to tap rubber lak.

4. helpless: rumah tak terurus.pokok2 tak terjaga.

5. tired: go here and there on weekdays n weekends.

want to do eh....hati tak tenteram aje sekarang.....

DOA UMMI

Ummi berdoa;

moga anak-anak dirahmati Allah,
dipermudahkan dalam segala urusan,
diluaskan semua pintu rezeki,
dilapangkan dada menadah ilmu,
dibuka hijab segala kesulitan,
di murahkan nikmat hari kehidupan,
dilindungi Ilahi dari kejahatan,
diliputi kegembiraan di bumi Tuhan,
diberkati hidup dalam kesyukuran,
dianugerah kejayaan setiap ujian.

Ummi tidak punya harta, wang ringgit berjuta,
hanya doa yg mampu dipanjat setiap masa,
moga anak-anak memahami setiap isi rasa.

renungkanlah..................