Suhanallah, Allah is the Most Understanding, the Most Knowledgeable, the Most Forgiving.
Umi realize that every time umi is in a middle of two paths, the bad and the good, Allah always Guides my by making it a coincidence that i come across Al Quran verses or hadith pertaining to the dilemma that i am facing. it is as if, Allah is answering my every question, immediate and suitable to the moment that i am struggling to make decisions.
For example, last nite umi was very angry at my relative, my own sister and nieces who came home to visit, only for one day,considering that this is a one week break, but they only appeared for a lousy one day, not enough for my mom to melepas rindu..
couldn't they spend more time with her, knowing she is always waiting for their return, wanting to see for herself her own daughter and grandchildren. Alas, they just did a touch n go stuff, which left me fuming. i love my mom very much and i believe she deserves all the love, care and attention by all her children. is it too much to ask for, especially now she is bed-ridden and all?
However, to my surprise, my mom was very calm, forgiving and approving, which was really unexpected. Normally, she would be very disappointed. Has my mom changed from her normal aggressive style to a more content-complacent lady? it has always be my prayers that she would be like that, but when it happened, i found it difficult to see my mom so serene and calm.
On the other hand, i was more of the opposite, expressing my unhappiness to my own blood sister. i was usually very forgiving and practiced the more positive attitude so much so that some people took for granted to my kindness, but now i just cannot take it anymore, thus the fire of words exploded.
Then, came Allah's Mercy and Goodwill, through this surah that i read just after my frustration took place. What i could deduce from this verse was that, Allah wants us to forgive our saudara-saudara , because don't you yourself want Allah's forgiveness. Tears dropped and i had to admit that at that time i felt so tiny, so small because i could not contain my anger towards my own relatives, whereas Allah is willing to forgive my mistakes, my God Knows, wrongdoings. Who am i to be more powerful than Allah, instead i am a nobody, a useless soul if not granted this life by the Greatest.
Immediately i started to recall all the good deeds done by my sister to me, i remembered my mom's advice and i recollected all the nice words uttered by her.....i felt better and more relaxed.
I really hope this feeling persists and i am more forgiving as i know i am myself sinned.
Astagh firullahal azim .
