Kembara Malam

Now its raining again, almost every night actually. Ayish and umi are at tok's and our trip after Maghrib is usually very interesting and  challenging.  however, our faithful Kembara never gives us any headache but serves us securely and comfortably.

When it rains, normally the road would be a challenge as my eyesight is gradually showing its poor role.  thus, it is not a shocking thing if i always shake this 4WD to its maximum capacity whenever i bluntly hit the bumps that always cause a horseback riding effect, so much to scare Ayish at the back.what to do. i just fail to see things clearly...whatever lying on the road would be my victim.  Sometimes i hit and run a cat( dead cat), rubbish and even sway the car to avoid a leaf,yes a dead leaf that i misjudge as something dangerous thus ,must be avoided at all cost.

Allah Knows how scared i feel every time i have to drive in a wet night, only accompanied by the i-know-nothing-son.....i pray and pray that nothing funny happens along the way and we will arrive safely every night.

Not only that, this Kembara also withstands the muddy roads, the slippery corners and the unforeseen puddles.  Its big, wide tyres promise security and smooth rides so i dont have to worry  much even though i have to drive at nite.

Now the persistent rain is dropping its water on the already fragile and rusty rooftop : it looks like its going to continue until morning. Just pray that tomorrow, we will not wake up and find us swimming in ankle deep water....mohon doa keselamatan dari bala bencana. amin.........

A Question mark ?

There are so many unexplained, untold, unspoken, unexposed, unexpected, unexpressed things in my life. Should i unravel everything, or should i keep it all to myself?

LOVE IS BLIND

Yesterday, in class, umi  conducted a debate-like discussion with my S3T3A/B students.  umi came out with 10 argumentative essay statements and they were supposed to give suitable responses. One of the statements was:
PARENTS SHOULD BE BLAMED FOR THEIR CHILDREN'S INDISCIPLINE PROBLEMS.  What made umi so dumbfounded was that 23 students agreed to this except 1. Among reasons elicited were:
1. If parents are BAD, their children are BAD too.
2. Parents are the FIRST educator, so they must teach their children right.
3. Parents are busy at work and they neglect their  children
4. Children are stressed out because their parents do not care for them.

Suddenly umi became so disturbed with these sincere words and again asked them whether they agreed to these, which they responded by nodding their heads. Umi was stunned ....it was very obvious that  one student, Atira said: teacher, you look  so small. i don't agree because i think there are other factors that lead to this ......i wanted to  agree with her but the effect of unanimous nods was very disturbing.

Umi left the class, dazed by the shocking fact, and this haunted umi a lot. The question posed in my mind was:
Do my own children think the same way?
Do they think that whatever wrongdoing (if any) committed by them was the result of my hubby and my fault?
What have we done wrong?
Am i a good mother?

Well, obviously, we parents  are so sincere in our thoughts, thinking that all children  are the same, all are obedient, all are angels and all can be trusted. We are so honest, hoping that all are well and beautiful. We are engrossed by giving 100% COMMITMENT TO A RELATIONSHIP that sometimes we fail to see that, children, even though they come from the same womb, have a different way of thinking, a different way of seeing and accepting things, a different way of dealing with things....children are so different in so many ways....the fact that umi believes many parents fail to see and vehemently would like to deny.

Thanks to that enlightening discussion, now umi can think clearly, be wary and be ready to face whatever that comes in my life dealing with my 8 children.  Indeed, things that happen should open my eyes, should make me realize that, any shortcomings seen in my children, could be due to my husband or my own wrongdoings. If that is the truth, then we want to sincerely apologize for our  failure, for own inefficiency, for being so oblivious to the fact of life. Insyaallah, we will become better parents and we will not be blamed. The thought itself make ummi shivers....No wonder old people always say: it is easy to look after a herd of cows ( no pun intended to the recent court case)but very difficult to look after one child ( in my case , 8)

Now umi understands what is meant by LIFE IS NOT BED OF ROSES.

New Year 2012

I have only 1 resolution this year.

I pray all my children will have a good life, appreciating, understanding, respecting, loving and caring for one another. All 8 must remain together, through thick or thin, for better, for worse....all done in the name of LOVE.

Mudah Tapi Payah

Tonite umi gets very nostalgic...why? Hmm for the first time, our house is so quiet, no shouting or teasing from alin or ayish ( depa tiduq rumah pengasuh), no sound of music or nasyid from Bob or Eman ( depa pi tolong kawan buat kem kat budak2 sek), no Atih ( dah balik matrik), no Akak ( dok busy ngan site dia di UITM) and of course no news yet from Along ( satgi dia call kot)...what we have tonite is only Adik, the quiet one.
This serene quietness is only disturbed by the distance sound of TV, expectedly losing its audience tonite.
Ummi then starts thinking how lonely some people are, those who have nobody to talk to, no one to share stories and no soul to understand how one feels.

The most shocking reality of today's way of life is, the fact that people rarely take the initiative to make calls to their parents, who are silently waiting to hear the voice of their children. Long time ago, it was an understood fact if children did not make routine calls as telephones were a luxury unlike now. Umi still remembers. Tok only started installing home phone when umi was studying in Canada in 1983. Once a fortnight , umi would make a distant call to my cousin and tok wan had to go to her house on the day and time stated.  It was a fuss so they got one and then the calls were more regular and that was how umi exchanged news with tok and tok wan.

How time flies and how people have changed together with technology. from homephone to cell phone, from the bulky gadget to the tiny one, the black to colourful designs.  Unfortunately, this evolution leads to a very sad results when it comes to connecting to the elders.  Somehow, they are left behind, suffering a lonely life because the young rarely take the chance to communicate with them. They would rather show their concern to friends and  adults too connect more with their office colleagues. They send SMS, they make endless calls, but they somehow forget to reach the old folks. It is a very pathetic reality. Why is that so?
Technology undeniably allows a better and faster communication but it also leaves behind a very disturbing and sorry  fact of care and love among society.....